🎭 Halloween and the Masks We Wear: Exploring the True and False Self

Halloween invites us to dress up, play pretend, and step into someone else’s shoes for a night. But for many, wearing a mask isn’t just a costume—it’s a daily experience.

In therapy, we often explore the tension between the True Self—the part of us that feels authentic, spontaneous, and alive—and the False Self—the version we present to meet expectations, avoid conflict, or feel accepted.

Clients struggling with relationships often say:

• “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

• “I feel like I’m performing all the time.”

• “I’m exhausted from trying to be what others want.”

• “I worry that if I show the real me, I’ll be rejected.”

Winnicott’s Theory: A Spectrum of Self

According to psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott, the False Self isn’t inherently bad—it can protect us, especially in childhood. But when it dominates, we lose touch with our True Self, leading to feelings of emptiness, anxiety, and disconnection.

Like a Halloween costume worn too long, the False Self can become uncomfortable, even suffocating.

The Struggle for Authenticity

Living authentically doesn’t mean being raw or unfiltered—it means being connected to your inner truth. It means knowing when you’re acting out of fear versus when you’re expressing your real needs, desires, and boundaries.

Therapy Can Help

Individual therapy offers a space to gently peel back the layers, reconnect with your True Self, and learn how to show up more fully in your relationships and life. You don’t have to keep pretending. You’re allowed to be real.

This Halloween, as you choose your costume, take a moment to ask:
What parts of me feel hidden year-round? And what would it mean to let them be seen?